QuarterLife Girl Gets Fit!

The Rambunctious Adolescent

Posted on: January 15, 2010

One of the biggest things that made me realize that I needed to “get back on” the Beck Diet was a conversation I had earlier this week…..a conversation with myself. Scratch that. An argument. And it was a pretty heated argument at that. Keep in mind I hadn’t looked at my advantages cards or my response cards in WEEKS… 

You see, it went a bit like this. I was sitting in my office, doing work. For some very odd reason I had bought Teddy Grahams the day before (Buy one get one Free….I blame Publix, haha). I had just finished my delicious lunch (home made tuna salad wraps with alfalfa sprouts) and my bonus snack (cheese curls. A minor obsession of mine….and just 140 calories!), when I remembered the Teddy Grahams. The intense craving started.

I remember thinking to myself “they aren’t very high in calories. And my ‘bonus calories’ came in under 200 as I’m allowed. It wouldn’t hurt.” After that argument didn’t work (I was very tempted though) the rambunctious adolescent within me came bursting out.

“But I want them! I don’t have to be on a diet. This is just a game you’re playing….who cares if you lose?!”

I was very, oh, so very close to giving in. But for some reason I kept arguing with myself. Eventually, the light bulb went off….

This is NOT a game.

I’m not trying to “win” a game….I won’t prove anything to anyone by giving in. Who cares if I lose?! Well, I CARE! The only thing I’d be doing is giving up on myself. Letting myself down. Sure, it’s “just” 100 calories, or whatever…..but that’s 100 more than I should have already. The only thing I’ll lose is the chance for me to lose weight and achieve my goals.

I guess that’s the thing I have to realize. I’ve always done well on diets because I’ve treated them like a game. I love games, I get very competitive when I’m playing against myself….to see how far I’ll go to “win”. That’s all well and good until I feel like I want a time out, or the game gets boring.

Well guess what, THERE ARE NO TIME OUTS in this game. As one of my response cards reads….NO CHOICE. I don’t have a choice. I follow the rules, or I gain weight. Isn’t it worth skipping those Teddy Grahams for the satisfaction of knowing I’m doing everything I can to make it?

Finally, another one of my response cards popped into my head…..”I can always plan to have this food tomorrow.”

And that’s what I did. As soon as I made that decision the adolescent calmed down a bit, and I was able to get back to work.

It’s kind of funny, how even weeks after I stopped using my response cards, their message stuck in my head. I really think there’s something to this program, and so I decided to get back with it in full force. It’s not a game….it’s my life. In life there are no time outs, so I have to be ready to push through all of it. And guess what? I’m excited to do this! Even though it’s not a “game” it doesn’t mean I can’t treat it with the same intensity I have when I think I’m playing one.

I don’t think the rambunctious adolescent is gone forever, but for now I think I have the tools I need to fight it!

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